Funnny Passover Songs

Here are some funny Passover songs.  Hope you enjoy!

A Few Of My Favorite Things
(To the tune of “These are a few of my favorite things”)

Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes
Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes
Fish that’s gefillted, horseradish that stings
These are a few of our passover things.

Matzoh and karpas and chopped up haroset
Shankbones and kiddish and yiddish neuroses
Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings
These are a few of our Passover things.

Motzi and maror and trouble with Pharoahs
Famines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows
Matzah balls floating and eggshell that cling
These are a few of our Passover things.

When the plagues strike
When the lice bite
When we’re feeling sad
We simply remember our Passover things
And then we don’t feel so bad.

Same Time Next Year
(to the tune of “Makin’ Whoopee”)

Another Pesach, another year,
The family seder with near and dear…
Our faces shining,
All thoughts of dining
Are put on hold now.

We hear four questions,
The answer given
Recalls the Jews from Egypt driven.
The khrain is bitter, (haroset better!)
Please pass the matzah.

Take Me Out To The Sedar
(To the tune of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame!”)

Take me out to the Seder
Take me out with the crowd.
Feed me on matzah and chicken legs,
I don’t care for the hard-boiled eggs.
And its root, root, root for Elijah
That he will soon reappear.
And let’s hope, hope, hope that we’ll meet
Once again next year!

Take me out to the Seder
Take me out with the crowd.
Read the Haggadah
And don’t skip a word.
Please hold your talking,
We want to be heard.
And lets, root, root, root for the leader
That he will finish his spiel
So we can nosh, nosh, nosh and by-gosh
Let’s eat the meal!!! 
 
Moses Island
(To the tune of Gilligan’s Island)

Just recline right back and you’ll hear a tale,
a tale of dreadful trip.
That started with ten awful plagues brought onto Egypt,
brought unto Egypt.

The boss he was a Jewish man raised as a Pharaohs son.
Then G-d he did come calling and soon the fun begun,
soon the fun begun.

More blood, such frogs, and all those bugs,
Pharaoh could just barely see.
The Jews were really scoring points and soon they would be free.
and soon they would be free.

They shlepped and shlepped for forty years across a desert land.
He went up to Mt Sinai and a party soon began,
a party soon began.

Moses, the Pharaoh too, Aaron and his wife.
Marianne the skipper too here
on the desert island.

There's No Seder Like Our Seder
(To the tune of There's No Business Like Show Business)

There's no seder like our seder,
There's no seder I know.
Everything about it is halachic
Nothing that the Torah won't allow.
Listen how we read the whole Haggadah
It's all in Hebrew
'Cause we know how.
There's no Seder like our seder,
We tell a tale that is swell:
Moses took the people out into the heat
They baked the matzah
While on their feet
Now isn't that a story
That just can't be beat?
Let's go on with the show!


Take Us out of Egypt
(To the tune of Take me out to the ball game”)

Take us out of Egpyt
Free us from slavery
Bake us some matzah in a haste
Don't worry 'bout flavor--
Give no thought to taste.
Oh it's rush, rush, rush, to the Red Sea
If we don't cross it's a shame
For it's ten plagues,
Down and you're out
At the Pessah history game.


Elijah
(to the tune of “Maria”)

Elijah!
I just saw the prophet Elijah.
And suddenly that name
Will never sound the same to me.

Elijah!
He came to our seder
Elijah!
He had his cup of wine,
But could not stay to dine
This year--

Elijah!
For your message all Jews are waiting:
That the time's come for peace
and not hating--
Elijah--
Next year we'll be waiting.
Elijah!


Just a Tad of Haroset
(to the tune of “Just a spoon full of sugar”)

Chorus:
Just a tad of haroset helps the bitter herbs
go down,
The bitter herbs go down, the bitter herbs go down.
Just a tad of Charoset helps the bitter herbs
go down,
In the most disguising way.

Oh, back in Egypt long ago,
The Jews were slaves under Pharaoh
They sweat and toiled and labored
through the day.
So when we gather Pesach night,
We do what we think right.
Maror, we chew,
To feel what they went through.

Chorus

So after years of slavery
They saw no chance of being free.
Their suffering was the only life they knew.
But baby Moses grew up tall,
And said he'd save them all.
He did, and yet,
We swear we won't forget.
That......

Chorus

While the Maror is being passed,
We all refill our water glass,
Preparing for the taste that turns us red.
Although Maror seems full of minuses,
It sure does clear our sinuses.
But what's to do?
It's hard to be a Jew!!!

Chorus

The Ballad of the Four Sons
(to the tune of “Clementine”)

Said the father to his children,
"At the seder you will dine,
You will eat your fill of matzah,
You will drink four cups of wine."

Now this father had no daughters,
But his sons they numbered four.
One was wise and one was wicked,
One was simple and a bore.

And the fourth was sweet and winsome,
he was young and he was small.
While his brothers asked the questions
he could scarcely speak at all.

Said the wise one to his father
"Would you please explain the laws?
Of the customs of the seder
Will you please explain the cause?"

And the father proudly answered,
"As our fathers ate in speed,
Ate the paschal lamb 'ere midnight
And from slavery were freed."

So we follow their example
And 'ere midnight must complete
All the seder and we should not
After 12 remain to eat.

Then did sneer the son so wicked
"What does all this mean to you?"
And the father's voice was bitter
As his grief and anger grew.

"If you yourself don't consider
As son of Israel,
Then for you this has no meaning
You could be a slave as well."

Then the simple son said simply
"What is this," and quietly
The good father told his offspring
"We were freed from slavery."

But the youngest son was silent
For he could not ask at all.
His bright eyes were bright with wonder
As his father told him all.

My dear children, heed the lesson
and remember evermore
What the father told his children
Told his sons that numbered four.

Pharaoh Doesn’t Pay
(To the tune of “I’ve been Working on the Railroad”)

We’ve been working on these buildings;
Pharaoh doesn’t pay.
We’ve been doing what he tells us
Mixing straw with clay.
Can’t you hear the master calling,
“Hurry up, make that brick!”
Can’t you feel the master whip us
‘Til we’re feeling sick.

Oy vay, it’s a mess,
A terrible distress,
Oy vay, it’s a mess for Jews, us Jews.

Moshe’s in the palace with Pharaoh,
Warning of all God’s clout, clout, clout.
Moshe’s in the palace with Pharaoh,
And God’s gonna get us out!

We’re singing . . . .
Fee, Fi, Fiddely eye oh,
Make our matzahs “to go” oh oh oh.
Fee, Fi, Fiddely eye oh,
Stick it to the ol’ Pharaoh!



Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Carnegie Shul Chatter – April 16, 2014

Sabbath candle lighting time is 7:44

Passover Services’ Schedule

 Tuesday, April 22, 2014: Passover, 7th day — 09:20 am

Wednesday, April 13, 2014: Passover, 8th day — 09:20 am

Please note that Yizkor (memorial service) is a part of Wednesday morning services on April 16.

Fro some reason Word Press sent last week’s blog to some, but not to others.  So, rather than write a new blog, I will attempt to resent the one from last week which you may have missed.

Passover – the story of the deliverance of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt.  And then our ancestors began their incredible journey through the wilderness to the Land of Israel, receiving the Ten Commandments and Torah along the way.  It wasn’t an easy journal – the people did not always behave as they should have – they built the golden calf and were sometimes rebellious, and of all the people who began that incredible journey only Joshua and Caleb were allowed to enter the Promised Land.

On April 21 my step-son, Joshua Hyde, will set forth on an incredible journey of his own as he makes Aliyah to Israel.  Although their will surely be challenges along the way, just as their were for our ancestors, I pray that God grants him the wisdom to overcome those challenges and that his future in Israel will be one of much joy and happiness.

Since it’s establishment as the Jewish homeland in 1948, the State of Israel has faced numerous threats from its Arab neighbors, but Israel has always prevailed.  With the current round of Middle East peace talks at a crisis point, let us offer this prayer for the continuing welfare of our Promised Land:

Our Father in Heaven, Rock and Redeemer of Israel, bless the State of Israel, the first manifestation of the approach of our redemption. Shield it with Your loving kindness, envelop it in Your peace, and bestow Your light and truth upon its leaders, ministers, and advisors, and grace them with Your good counsel. Strengthen the hands of those who defend our holy land, grant them deliverance, and adorn them in a mantle of victory. Ordain peace in the land and grant its inhabitants eternal happiness. Lead them, swiftly and upright, to Your city Zion and to Jerusalem, the abode of Your Name, as is written in the Torah of Your servant Moses: “Even if your outcasts are at the ends of the world, from there the Lord your God will gather you, from there He will fetch you. And the Lord your God will bring you to the land that your fathers possessed, and you shall possess it; and He will make you more prosperous and more numerous than your fathers.” Draw our hearts together to revere and venerate Your name and to observe all the precepts of Your Torah, and send us quickly the Messiah son of David, agent of Your vindication, to redeem those who await Your deliverance.

Manifest yourself in the splendor of Your boldness before the eyes of all inhabitants of Your world, and may everyone endowed with a soul affirm that the Lord, God of Israel, is king and his dominion is absolute. Amen forevermore.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Carnegie Shul Chatter – April 10, 2014

This blog was published on April 10 but for some reason Word Press distributed to some subscribers, but not to all.  Hopefully everyone will get it this time.

Candle lighting time is 7:36 pm

Passover – the story of the deliverance of the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt.  And then our ancestors began their incredible journey through the wilderness to the Land of Israel, receiving the Ten Commandments and Torah along the way.  It wasn’t an easy journal – the people did not always behave as they should have – they built the golden calf and were sometimes rebellious, and of all the people who began that incredible journey only Joshua and Caleb were allowed to enter the Promised Land.

On April 21 my step-son, Joshua Hyde, will set forth on an incredible journey of his own as he makes Aliyah to Israel.  Although their will surely be challenges along the way, just as their were for our ancestors, I pray that God grants him the wisdom to overcome those challenges and that his future in Israel will be one of much joy and happiness.

Since it’s establishment as the Jewish homeland in 1948, the State of Israel has faced numerous threats from its Arab neighbors, but Israel has always prevailed.  With the current round of Middle East peace talks at a crisis point, let us offer this prayer for the continuing welfare of our Promised Land:

Our Father in Heaven, Rock and Redeemer of Israel, bless the State of Israel, the first manifestation of the approach of our redemption. Shield it with Your loving kindness, envelop it in Your peace, and bestow Your light and truth upon its leaders, ministers, and advisors, and grace them with Your good counsel. Strengthen the hands of those who defend our holy land, grant them deliverance, and adorn them in a mantle of victory. Ordain peace in the land and grant its inhabitants eternal happiness. Lead them, swiftly and upright, to Your city Zion and to Jerusalem, the abode of Your Name, as is written in the Torah of Your servant Moses: “Even if your outcasts are at the ends of the world, from there the Lord your God will gather you, from there He will fetch you. And the Lord your God will bring you to the land that your fathers possessed, and you shall possess it; and He will make you more prosperous and more numerous than your fathers.” Draw our hearts together to revere and venerate Your name and to observe all the precepts of Your Torah, and send us quickly the Messiah son of David, agent of Your vindication, to redeem those who await Your deliverance.

Manifest yourself in the splendor of Your boldness before the eyes of all inhabitants of Your world, and may everyone endowed with a soul affirm that the Lord, God of Israel, is king and his dominion is absolute. Amen forevermore.

Passover Services’ Schedule

 This year, Passover begins on Monday evening, April 14, 2014; it ends on Tuesday, April 22, 2014. The first seder will take place on Monday evening, April 14, after Maariv; the second seder will take place on Tuesday evening, April 15, after Maariv  Traditionally, the first two days and the last two days of the holiday are subject to Yom Tov restrictions. Services at the Carnegie Shul will be held as follows:

Tuesday, April 15, 2014: Passover, 1st day — 09:20 am

Wednesday, April 16, 2014: Passover, 2nd day — 09:20 am

Tuesday, April 22, 2014: Passover, 7th day — 09:20 am

Wednesday, April 16, 2014: Passover, 8th day — 09:20 am

Please note that Yizkor (memorial service) is a part of Wednesday morning services on April 16.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Uncategorized